‘Helping someone I loved cost me to lose over $45,000 and 9 years of my life’: Woman who paid BF’s bail
https://www.stomp.sg/stomping-ground/helping-someone-i-loved-cost-me-lose-over-45000-and-9-years-my-life-woman-who-paid-bfs-bail?ref=home-editors-picks
“He claimed he was a former investment director but could not disclose details because he was bound by a non-disclosure agreement (NDA),” the Stomper added.
JJ said that over the years, M described various business ventures and investment opportunities to her and people she knew.
‘Helping someone I loved cost me to lose over $45,000 and 9 years of my life’: Woman who paid BF’s bail
Welcome to Stomping Ground — a space where Stompers share reflections, personal essays and social commentaries that spark conversation and insight.
More than a decade after meeting the man she loved, one woman says she is still paying the financial and emotional price of that relationship.
Stomper JJ estimated that she lost more than $45,000 after lending money to her then-boyfriend M, whom she accused of being a “scammer”.
“I never imagined that helping someone I loved would cost me more than $45,000 and nine years of my life,” she said.
According to the Stomper, she met M in 2015, when she was 23 years old and in search of a job.
M, then 30, presented himself as financially successful and claimed to have retired early, said JJ.
“He claimed he was a former investment director but could not disclose details because he was bound by a non-disclosure agreement (NDA),” the Stomper added.
JJ said that over the years, M described various business ventures and investment opportunities to her and people she knew.
“He frequently discussed this investment opportunity with people he met, and some later decided to invest based on his representations,” the Stomper claimed.
She eventually invested money with him and also lent him money on multiple occasions.
“Sometimes, he claimed it was for hospital bills,” she told Stomp. “Other times, he said he had cancer.”
JJ said M repeatedly promised to repay her, explaining that he was temporarily unable to access his funds for various reasons.
She said she accepted those explanations because she trusted him, though she later allegedly assisted with investigations after he was reported by others for cheating.
One incident continues to trouble her.
He asked her for bail money
JJ alleged M told her he urgently needed $15,000 for cash bail relating to what he described as a "traffic case (where he drove) with no license”.
Wanting to help, she deposited the sum with the court, assuming he would return the money once his court case had concluded.
The 34-year-old woman said she later discovered from publicly available court records that the bail was connected to a different criminal case from the one she believed she was helping him with.
Court documents seen by Stomp show that M was convicted in 2024 for multiple counts of cheating.
JJ said she repeatedly asked for her money back after the case concluded, but never recovered it.
“His father, who is the bailor, repeatedly told me he’s in custody or in lockup and was uncontactable, but I could see him online on Mobile Legends,” she claimed.
Beyond the cash bail, JJ said she also took out a bank loan on M’s behalf and registered utility and telecommunications accounts which led to her footing his unpaid bills.
According to JJ, she only realised later that others were also trying to recover money they had allegedly lent him. She said people she did not know would occasionally contact her asking if she knew how to reach M.
“I later became aware of other people who alleged they had also lent him money,” JJ said, adding that this list of people included one of M’s former girlfriends.
She claimed M repeatedly spoke about getting married and buying a home together, but those plans never materialised. Instead, she said she found herself paying for expenses including rent, traffic fines, legal fees and other costs.
“Every day was about asking where’s my money, where’s the house, where’s his passport (missing for four years), where are our future plans,” JJ added.
She said M also frequently made claims about his career, businesses and assets. But whenever she asked for proof, he would come up with “excuses”.
“When I initiated a break-up, he said he would get his dad to sell off his and his mum’s houses to buy us a home,” JJ told Stomp. “But it didn’t happen.”
JJ said she eventually ended the relationship after nine years because she felt tired “financially and mentally” after years of broken promises and mounting expenses.
Sounding the alarm on “scammer awareness”
Today, JJ says she is sharing her experience to encourage others to exercise caution before lending money or investing without adequate research.
“I don’t wish for the next victim to fall into this situation like me and start investing in his business or lending him money,” said the Stomper, who hopes to raise “scammer awareness”.
JJ wishes she had probed M further instead of accepting his explanations at face value.
“I hope the next girl doesn’t believe his words when he say he takes responsibility — because he doesn’t.”
Have your say on Stomping Ground! Write to us at stomp@sph.com.sg or WhatsApp 9384 3761.
Explore more on these topics
See something interesting? Contribute your story to us.
Comments
Post a Comment